Mediterranean

I went on a cruise with my best friend throughout the Mediterranean and Egypt. The story is complicated and creates the necessity for a brief explanation.

As I said, I went on a cruise with my best friend, Janette She and I have known each other for about 12 years now, since the day I arrived in Seattle from Western Massachusetts (Amherst and Northampton). I was a fresh Amherst drop-out with a penchant for serious drinking, and Janette saw through the self-destruction and befriended what was really underneath all the crap. We've lived together, said horrible things to each other that in any other relationship could never be taken back. We've nursed each other's wounds, bought each other everything from groceries to vodka and beyond. We were in a 7.0 earthquake while living in a room in a boarding house. She wanted to sleep through it all, while I peed my pants. She's been there for just about everything great I've gone through; through all the highs and lows, elations and near death experiences.

I have a motto concerning Janette: “If she doesn't remember it, I didn't do it.” Her relatively clear headedness and sober mind has recalled events and actions done on my behalf, that in most cases I'm glad I can't.

About five years ago, Janette took an offer to work on a cruise ship as a cook. The culinary arts is what speaks most to her, and she is very, very good when put in a kitchen and left to her own devices. She had paid her dues shore side working for an upscale restaurant in Bellvue, WA., a suburb next to Seattle devoted to unnecessary excess, and high living standards. And she was ready to move on. I was happy for her, and thought it would be just the right thing for her to finally leave the 'job'-world behind for an actual career.

Moving on, this all started on a cold January morning which to me was about 3 in the afternoon, given my work schedule, when I got a call from Janette. To be honest I wasn't looking forward to it because I hadn't yet woken up, but mostly because I hate talking on the phone and it's even further frustrating when the person on the other end of it has a speech impediment that inhibits functional phone diction. Janette is very sensitive about that and at this time I had not yet shared that info with her.

“Hey Janette, what's up? I gotta make this short because...I got some things to do.”

“Have I ever told you about my friend, Dobie?”

“Who?”

“Dobie, he works with me on the cruise ship.

I vaguely remembered her saying something about him, once, twice maybe. But the name really didn't ring a bell outside of that.

“I'm pretty sure you mentioned him before.” I said, just to move the conversation along faster.

“I told you he pays for some of my crews vacations.”

“Yeah...”

“He said he's totally going to pay for mine, and I can bring someone with me.”

In hindsight, my reaction the moment I put two and two together was more out of anger than joy: how dare she call me up just to throw this shit in my face? Trucking' tease me like that!

“I decided that I either want to bring my sister, or my best friend.”

“Wow...wow! WOW!”

By now you can guess I was bouncing off the four walls and shrieking in the excitement of looking forward to going on an adventure and discovering something else. I already should be doing that once a year, getting out of the country and taking a journey. But it all came to an end when she said it was between me and her sister. I had already thought, “You WISH G-d loved you that much!”.

But it happened.

Her sister didn't want to go on a 'once-in-a-life-time' adventure to the Pyramids. Sure I understand that it may be with the one person who's able to bring you world down in a second, but that's what sisters are for, I thought. They had apparently gotten into a fight that concluded with the words, “I never want to see you again.” Understandable to want to say to Janette at times but that's only because it comes with the territory.

Janette is a loving woman, sometimes to a fault. She has a propensity to impose her morals onto the people she loves. This is even more evident if the dime is on her (in the form of helping people out – she is a pillar of financial responsibility, and I have learned much from her in that department). There are also times when it's downright annoying; for example, on the ship she, playing the Guardian Angel role, embarrassingly announced that I'm an alcoholic and didn't want to see the wine menu. And it got worse for a while, but more on that later.

Throughout February we had arranged for a late March departure date. The dates, and arrangements on the cruise line's end kept getting changed due to delays and entanglements regarding the actual payment. We fought to get a spot on the line going through the Mediterranean, but most importantly Egypt, and the Pyramids. We thought since they're going we had to hop on that for the ride.

There was a sticky question of money. I was led to believe not to need any. There would be a budget that would sufficient enough for the both of us. In hindsight THIS WAS A HUGE MISTAKE. But I'll get into that later.

There was also a number of other questions that were unanswered, and the combination of laziness and assumption that “everything was fine”, within the face of proven uncertainty.

With all that said. I'll bring you the supposedly fun thing I WILL do again...Just perhaps not with Janette...